Friday, February 10, 2006

Love and Rockets

Flying a spaceship, according to Captain Mal Reynolds, is all about love. That's something I'd like to experience again some day. Love, that is, although flying a spaceship would be kind of cool too.

I've just finished watching Joss Whedon's SERENITY. Not an earth-shatteringly great film, but a great ride all the same, and an impressive continuation from his previously-axed series (perhaps an option for Ms Fits to consider?). Love is one of its main themes: love for a sibling, for a partner, for a cause, for friends.

It's also the main theme - together with acceptance - of another film I saw earlier today at a media preview, TRANSAMERICA.

It's been a long time since I was in love. My last relationship ended in spectacularly messy circumstances in early 2000, and I've been single ever since. I spent a year nursing a broken heart, then another year being a slut, and lately, well, I think I've become somewhat of a recluse, to be honest.

I could do with another dose of romance again.

There's this guy called Dave who I really, really like, and who I've had feelings for, for, oh, a couple of years I guess, but I've also realised that nothing's ever going to happen between us. For a start I'm not his type, and I'm also much to out for him: he's bi, and in the closet, and although I'm a confidante, he's told me he can't ever see himself in another relationship with a gay man, given how fucked his first and only man-on-man relationship was. Given how psychotically jealous that particular guy was, though, I personally don't think he should be judging all gay men by that standard.

And if he's reading this, he's going to be really freaked out and pissed off that I'm discussing him in a public forum, so I better stop now, although I'm pretty sure he doesn't know I have a blog, or at least I hope he doesn't. Dave, if you're reading this, give me a call, ok?

So, I'd like to fall in love again. I've become somewhat solitary over the last few years; it seems much easier for me to go out on my own, knowing I'll probably run into someone I know at a bar, or a club, or a party or whatever, rather than organise to hook up with people I actually care about.

What's that all about?

This post is going to start sounding maudlin if I'm not careful.

I blame the wine (I'm halfway through an excellent bottle of Cab Sav).

So anyway, dear circle of bloggers and friends, I think what I'm trying to say at this stage is: feel free to try and set me up on dates! I've only ever been on one blind date, and it was a disaster, but I'm more than happy for people to start inviting me to dinner parties, movies, gigs etc, with the alterior motive of introducing me to your single gay or bi friends. As long as he's blokey rather than queeny, and aged, oh I don't know, somewhere between 26-36, give or take a year or two.

Actually I don't know where that last paragraph came from; it certainly wasn't the reason I started writing this particular post five minutes ago.

That's the problem with a subconcious; you give it leave to start blathering on and you never know where it's going to end up.

Now that I've suggested the idea though, I actually kind of like it. Why not use my E-grade level of fame/notoriety to try and find a new romance? At the very least it will give me something to blog about!

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